- My theory is, Skinner likes dog food
- Homer, you should be more supportive. Youre right Marge, good work boy........... ♪ Egghead likes his Booky-Wook! ♪
- Stanley is thoughtless, violent and loud. Marge, every second you spend with this man... he is crushing your fragile spirit.
- Youll have to speak up, Im wearing a towel
- Strike three, Marge! I remember that meeting and I have a photographic memory...
- Want to change your name to Homer Junior? The kids can call you Hoju
- Now listen up. Its your basic Statue of Liberty play with one twist. You throw it to me. Knute Rockne called it the forward pass.
- I pickled the figs myself
- Hi-dilly-ho. Welcome to your new home, neglect-areenos
- Why? Its not like anything interesting happened to anyone else today.
- ...Ohhh my god! Oh, god, no! Oh this can’t be happening! You’re operating without a T-437, Springfield!!
- More Creamed corn Jimbo Jr?
- “My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.” “Okay Mr. Burns, what’s your first name?” “I don’t know.”
- This is a pretzel town, pretty boy.
- HOMER, YOURE DUMB AS A MULE AND TWICE AS UGLY. IF A STRANGE MAN OFFERS YOU A RIDE I SAY TAKE IT!
🥳🥳🥳 Passed the half way point on my weightloss goal today, nearly 2 stone lighter than I was before lockdown. Really the only silver lining of lockdown for me was that for whatever reason it flipped a switch in my head and I set about getting healthier again... To be honest I probably passed the halfway point a few weeks ago because it took me about a month before I even stepped on a scales, but as of now Im both the lightest and healthiest Ive been in about 3 years, hopefully be down to my birth weight before the end of the year 😝 - @mc_savy on Instagram
- hmmm
- Who wants to guess how I got the money?
- Yes, Id like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 auto-gyro?
- I own the electric company and the water works, plus the hotel on Baltic Avenue. That hotels a dump and your monopolys pathetic.
- Happy 420!
- These hot dogs have been here for three years, they are strictly ornamental. Heh, theres only one bozo who comes in and buys them!
- Tell you what. We come back and everyone is slaughtered, I owe you a coke.
- Homer, you knuckle-beak, I told you a hundred times: You gotta sell your pumpkin futures before Halloween! Before!
- HELP! I NEED TUNGSTEN TO LIVE. TUNGSTEN!
- Uh, Springfield, my computer shows your T-437 is fully operational. Uh, I suggest you- Oh, my God! Oh, God, no! Oh, this cant be happening! Youre operating without a T-437, Springfield! Oh, sweet mother of mercy! I mean- I mean, my God!
- Dont Blame Me. I voted for Kodos.
- I see your reading the newspaper. Everything but the opinion page. I dont need to be told what to think. By anyone living.
- Ann Landers is a boring old biddy
- Soon you’ll have a mighty hump.
- Homer, dont take this personally, but Ive obtained a court order to prevent you from planning this wedding.
- I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work a lot harder when im around.
- The first episode of The Simpsons was aired 25 years ago today [FIXED]
- Cant trust a pig with watermelons, yknow?
- You there, fill it up with petroleum distillate and re-vulcanize my tires, post haste.
- Uh, my shirt fell off...
- You know the door was open, Chief Break Everything!
- Hey, this TVs not broken, its just unplugged!
- Theyre all covered with filthy germs! Arent they, Smithers?
- I fixed the DVD!
- I know that some of you are upset about the area code change, especially those of you covered with dynamite.
- What about Krustys partially gelatanated non dairy gum based beverages
- With the Oscars tonight, theres a lot of buzz around Lenny
- We could sit here and try to figure out who forgot to pick up who til the cows home. And lets just say were both wrong and thatll be that. Now how bout a hug?
- Okay. Heres what weve got. The Rand Corporation in conjunction with the saucer people... Thank you. Under the supervision of the reverse vampires are forcing our parents to go to bed early in a fiendish plot to eliminate the meal of dinner!
- The ventriloquist goes to heaven, but the dummy doesn’t.
- “Don’t worry boy, when you get a job like me, you’ll miss every summer”
- Hello Dean, you are a stupid-head!
- Marge, in a world gone mad, only a lunatic is truly insane.
- I Loved That Movie Young Frankenstein.... Scared the HELL out of me!
- Damn those sideburns
- Spare me your euphemisms! Its fat camp for Daddys chubby little secret!
- Oh, you wanna rock fight eh? Heh heh heh...
- Oh yeah, me-medicinal! I... Without it, I could go ehhh... go even blinder! Right?
- Hello, Simpson. Im riding the bus because mother hid my car keys to punish me for talking to a woman on the phone. She was right to do it.
- Where is ranger McFadden?
- Uhh... hello... uhh... Mrs... uh... Bart. IS YOUR POOL READY YET??
- I love the sexy slither of a lady snake. Ohh, baby.
- I don’t know what you have planned tonight, but count me out.
- Hey fun boys get a room!
- Well, sir, where shall we dump this batch? The playground? No. All those bald children are arousing suspicion.
- And since Id achieved all my goals as President in one term, there was no need for a second. The end. Hmm, good memoirs. Good, not great.
- Schoolhouse dont put out spittoons, I aint responsible.
- Oh, Fritz, you idiot. I didnt order a bologna sandwich. I ordered an abalone sandwich!
- Hey Dude, hes raggin on your cord
- Look at me, Im a grad student. Im 30 years old and I made $600 last year.
- Hello, Mr. Thompson
- Chief, you’re getting powdered sugar all over my floor. No I’m not, no I’m not. I’m, um.. dusting for prints.
- Look! That kid’s got bosoms! Who’s got a wet towel?
- Uh, excuse me! Do you know where I can buy some, uh ... drugs?
- Hello. This is Mole Man in the morning. Good Mole Man to you. Today: part four of our series of The agonizing pain in which I live every day.
- hello.. uhm.. mrs.. uhh.. bart.... IS YOUR POOL READY YET?
- un-zipping... Homer, no!
- Am i really that ugly?
- Grandpa, are you sitting on the apple pie? I sure hope so.
- I know where we can get some baguettes! Happy bastille day everyone!
- Well, Seymour, it seems weve put together a baseball team, and Im wondering, whos on first?
- Marge, can we switch? I dont trust these guys.
- Some days, we don’t let the line move at all. We call those “weekdays”.
- Mr. Seltzer? Setzer. No. I think its Seltzer.
- Now, lets see ... thisll make three Christmases I saved versus eight I ruined ... two were kind of a draw...
- Hey Bart, do you have a best friend yet? Cause Ive been looking for someone to boss me around.
- Weve syphoned extra power off from the orphanage. Who are they going to complain to? Their parents?
- Kirk, crackers are a family food. Happy Families. Maybe single people eat crackers, we dont know. Frankly, we dont want to know. Its a market we could do without.
- Hey Homer, what did you do, get a haircut or something? Look closer, Lenny. Oh, I know what it is.. youre the biggest man in the world now... and youre covered in gold. Fourteen karat gold!
- Duh Homer why are we down here? I told you Bernie to guard the bee!
- Look Marge, Maggie lost her baby legs!
- You know, Marge, in some ways you and I are very different people.
- Villains when they try to run away from Anakin
- “Bart, I don’t want to alarm you, but there may be a bogeyman or bogeymen in this house.”
- Well, get back to wherever it is you work whoever you are.
- Come onnnn, leave town!
- Hey, Moe, this liquor license expired in 1973 and its only good in Rhode Island. And its signed by you.
- All opposed? Me. Who keeps saying that? It was him, lets get him fellas.
- But you rang my--
- Its true. I read it on a placemat at a restaurant.
- Now this is the room with electricity, but it has too much electricity. So I dont know, you might want to wear a hat.
- But Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills! Youre from two different worlds!
- This was originally a Halloween costume, but it found its way into my regular rotation.
- First youll need a declaration of war. That way everything you do will be nice and legal.
- Look, Big Daddy, Its Regular Daddy.
- Allan Poe
- Charmed. uh.. a-googly-doogily
- GREENhorn?!... WHOs a greenhorn?!.... WHATs a greenhorn?!
- I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant
- Where’s Christmas?!?!
- When Marge told me she was going to the police academy I thought it would be fun and exciting, like that movie, Spaceballs! But instead its been painful and disturbing like that movie Police Academy.
- I moved here from Canada and they think Im slow. Eh...
- memes
- Despite Barts objections, The People of South Africa can now vote in free Democratic elections.
- Hello, Selma? Selma, my dear, how are you? Uh huh...uh huh...uh huh...listen, shut up for a second.
- Fine! But the bacon man lives in a bacon house!
- Anime
- “Did you get the job? Nah, they wanted someone good. Story of my life.”
- I thought I’d chauffeur myself this evening. Yes, that’s what I thought. How difficult can it be? Im sure the manual will indicate which lever is the velocitator and which the deceleratrix.
- “Cheer up, Dad. Did you know the Chinese use the same word for crisis as they do for opportunity?” “Yes. ‘Crisitunity’!”
- “That doll tried to kill me!” - “I’d say that the pressure has finally gotten to dad, but what pressure?”
- BRUNCH: Its not quite breakfast, its not quite lunch, but it comes with a slice of cantaloupe at the end. You dont get completely what you would at breakfast but you get a good meal!
- The trick is to say youre prejudiced against all races.
- Who would have thought Darth Vader was Luke Skywalkers father?
- Son...let’s stop the fussin’ n the feuding’. I love you pa! I love you Cletus!
- You know, when I was a boy I really wanted a catchers mitt, but my dad wouldnt get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage.
- Sir, there are six cinder blocks missing... There will be no hospital then, Ill tell the children..
- @film.wave on Instagram
- As a young kid in the early 90s, I legit thought this was Michael Jackson.
- Uh, lets see...Ill have...one...uh...
- Don’t forget the smell!
- Why no love for Larry Burns? Easily one of the best one time characters! Now let’s party!
- Mr. Burns, Im afraid you are the sickest man in the United States. You have everything.
- Yeah, you heard your mother.
- Never noticed Krabappel had a scarlet A on her clothes in Treehouse of Horror VIII 😂
- Don Homer, I have baked a speciale donut just for you!
- Now, normally, the birth of Siamese twins is a joyous occasion...
- When I first heard of the operation, I was against it. But then I thought, if Homer wants to be a woman, so be it.
- Simpsons - Characters
- Miss Belle, were about to do our Around the World number, but Monte Carlo cant find her dice!
- Even as we speak, Ayatollah Razmara and his cadre of fanatics are consolidating their power.
- OH, YOU WANT A ROCK FIGHT, EH?
Happy New Year! - @bartsimpsonofficial on Instagram
- Dear Lord, thank you for Ziggy comics, little baby ducks, and Sweatin to the Oldies volumes one, two and four.
- Pipe down sister, I gotta book a new act for tonight. Turns out that Liza Minnelli impersonator was actually Liza Minnelli *Shudders*
- Aww nuts, I mean...aww nuts.
- Morena be like: El peje es bueno, el peje es bello. No hay voluntad, olvidate de ello.
- Here are your messages: You have thirty minutes to move your car. You have ten minutes. Your car has been impounded. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have thirty minutes to move your cube.
- Hello this is Moleman in the morning. Good Moleman to you.
- Sir. Uh, hello, sir. Yes. You look like a man who needs help satisfying his wife...
- This is nothing but dead-white-male bashing from a PC thug. Its women like you who keep the rest of us from landing a husband.
- Oh, I cant take his money. I cant print my own money. I have to work for money. Why dont I just lie down and die?
- A turkey is a bad person
- Compu-Global-Hyper-Mega-Net, junior vice-president Homer Simpson speaking. How may I direct your call?
- Find the bathroom alright?
- Awww. This isnt gonna be about Jesus, is it?
- Gee, I dont know what youve got planned for tonight, Homer, but count me out.
- Marge, do you respect my intelligence?
- Bart tests Homer’s strength
- So, I says, blue M&M, red M&M, they all wind up the same colour in the end.
- Theres plenty of Milhouse to go around!
- A dog like this you have to feed every day!
- Art Humor
- Give it a try, its like kissing a peanut!
- Get back to wherever it is you work... whoever you are.
- Geech gone to heaven, Mr. Terwilliger
- Yeah, alright, listen up guys. The Springfield police have told me that 91% of all traffic accidents are caused by you six guys
- Blursed Simpsons
- I need a price check on two grapes! Yeah, you heard me, Phil. Two measly, stinkin grapes.
- HEY MR SMITHERS!
- Listen, boozebags, I got a good thing going here. If you mess it up, I will out the one of you that is gay.
- It was worth sneaking into town. That was some good corn.
- Hey, remember our agreement. Im the man!
- You know Homer, its very easy to criticise. Fun too!
- “Hi, Lisa. Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers. Meow. I’m learnding.”
- Homer, youre as dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. If a strange man offers you a ride, I say take it!
- How come Bart gets to do that and I cant spend one night lurking in the bushes at Chef Boyardees house?
- So, uh, aint you guys gonna ask me about my hat?
- Look daddy! Todd is stupid and I’m with him!
- Saxamaphone... Sax-a-ma-phonee...
- Flanders, you have no neck. Okely dokely, neighborino!
- Who the devil are you?
- Ow! My freaking ears!
- I am Lugash.
- Oh Simpsons, cant you go five seconds without humiliating yourself?
- Everybody... Everybody get naked!
- Strange, I shouldnt have been able to hear that
- A congenital heart defect has apparently felled Tatum moments before he could step into the ring.
- Thats ridiculous! The last tree held nine drums
- HeybuddyyougottaslowyourcardownandletmeinbecauseImabigfatguyandIcantgoanywherebecausetherecouldbesomepoisongasImeantheresreallygoingtobepoisongasandeverybodysgoingtobedeadESPECIALLYME!!!!
- Shell go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene
- I live in a single room above a bowling alley, and below another bowling alley.
- Hi Lisa! Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers!
- I want to see you both fighting for your parents love! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
- The bee bit my bottom! Now my bottoms big!
- Milhouse: Bart! Nelson hit me! Bart: He sure did
- Since my other post with the reversed color schemes got so much attention, I present you with: Rick and Morty characters, as Simpsons characters, as Rick and Morty characters
- Thank you door
- Skinner says the teachers will crack any minute purple monkey dishwasher.
- Hot stuff, coming through
- I love the sexy slither of a lady snake
- Dear Neighbor. You are my brother. I love you. And yet I feel a great sadness in my bosom.
- What’s your name son?
- Name me one person whos gotten rich by doing yo-yo tricks.
- I was born a snake handler and ill die a snake handler
- You spoke while you were jinxed so I get to punch you in the arm. Sorry, its the law.
- Well if it isnt my old friend Mr McGreg...with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg!
- I do not miss Bart at all...
- My basic understanding of Mythic Markets
- Wesley get mamas prying bar.
- “I did it. Second in line and all I had to do was miss eight days of work.” “With the money you would have made working, you could’ve bought tickets from a scalper.”
- RIP Anthony Bourdain
- Listen up, guys. The Springfield police told me that 91% of all traffic accidents are caused by you six guys.
- Oh ok Duude, I wouldnt want you to have a cow, maaaan. Heres a catchphrase you better learn for your adult years, Hey buddy, got a quarter?
- Stealing, how could you?! Havent you learned anything from that guy who gives sermons at church, Captain whats his name?
- The eating of an orange is a lot like a good marriage.
- Sir, why did you wait until the last minute to pay your taxes?
- Excellent Zutroy!
- Ooh! Ive never had a pair of pants that fit this well in my life!
- Heres the keys “Elephants dont have keys.” “Ill just keep these, then.”
- Mr. Simpson, dont you worry. I watched Matlock in a bar last night. The sound wasnt on, but I think I got the gist of it.
- Yeah I bought your little mutt.... And I ate him!
- Simpsons
- Thats the same thing, you just replaced Dees with Doos.
- Up yours, children
- Checkmate. Checkmate. Checkmate.
- Do we sell French.....Fries?
- Kicking and screaming please
- My God youre greasy.
- NO, YOU CANT HAVE THAT ONE. THATS A COCONUT CAKE!
- Mom, theres a weird smell and a lot of cursing coming from the basement, and dads upstairs.
- In that family, nobody trusted nobody. They even brought their lawyers to Thanksgiving dinner!
- No, Ultrasuede is a miracle. This is just good timing.
- Simpsons Family Christmas Card 2016
- My God Youre Greasy... Uhhh Mr. Merooka... HELP!
- “Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?” “Yeah, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.”
- blursed_switcharoo
- Youll have to speak up, Im wearing a towel...
- “Help me, Lisa! I have serious Mental Problems!
- ♪ You dont wind friends with salad ♪
- Simpsons frases
- Yello? Youll have to speak up. Im wearing a towel.
- A+? You dont think much of me, do you, boy? No, sir. You know, a D turns into a B so easily. You just got greedy.
- Were going out, Marge! If we dont come back, avenge our deaths!
- Homer Simpson, smiling politely
- I dont want to live anymore!
- I ate two grapes. Please charge me for them.
- Bart, cart, dart, eeyart... Nope. Cant see any problem with that
- And Lisa, I guess this is the time to tell you ... youre adopted and I dont like you. BART!
- Cursed_Simpsons
- Slow down sir, youre going to give yourself skin failure!
- Donald Trump has hired goons raid his former doctors office. (2018)
- That man ate all our shrimp! And two plastic lobsters.
- Homer, we gotta do something. Today, hes drinking peoples blood. Tomorrow, he could be smoking!
- I gotta go, my damn wiener kids are listening.
- Now theres an employee, Smithers. A smile on his lips and a song in his heart. Promote him!
- Have you been up all night eating cheese? I think Im blind.
- Umm... I shoot birds at the airport.
- O Simpson
- So I said, Look buddy, your car was upside-down when I got here. And as for your grandmother, she shouldnt have mouthed off like that.
- F2P Spies.
- For some reason, in Cape Feare (S5E2), whenever Homer gets Sideshow Bob’s first letter there is a mouse listening in.
- No, Lisa, but I sure dont want to eat this crappy breakfast.
- Well, its 1AM. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.
- “A professional in an ape mask is still a professional”
- You...went to outer space? You? Sure, youve never been?... Would you like to see my Grammy Award?
- Barts teacher is named Krabappel? Ive been calling her Crandall. Why didnt someone tell me?!
- Did you have to salt the Earth so nothing would grow?
- (In honor of the first day of Spring) —Look, fellas! The first snapdragon of the season!
- Whats a battle?
- Watch the potty mouth, honey.
- Homer, are you just holding onto the cans?
- Every religion says theres a soul, Bart. Why would they lie?? What would they have to gain??
- Oh, so now were judging each other based on things weve done!? Real fair. Class act.
- Me after reading the Black Pudding thread
- If kids are so innocent, why is everything bad named after them? Acting CHILDish, KIDnapping, CHILD abuse.... What about ADULTery? Not until youre older, son.
- Well, well, well Ive never seen such reckless disregard for a wifes well- being in my life. You just won yourselves a motorcycle.
- Cant talk - keeping myself in a state of cat-like readiness.
- @simpscns on Instagram
- Now Homer dont you eat this pie.
- “I got the idea when I noticed the refrigerator was cold.“
- Me when I saw egg nog at the grocery store today.
- just remember, one of our patients is a cannibal. Try to guess which one! I think youll be pleasantly surprised
- Homer we cant skuddle like crabs. Says you
- See, I got this friend named Joey Jo-jo Junior Shabadoo
- Yello? Youll have to speak up: Im wearing a towel.
- [S04E08] Tis no man. Tis a remorseless eatin machine!
- Have you noticed any change in Bart? New glasses? No. He looks like something might be disturbing him. Probably misses his old glasses.
- Tis the season, Marge. We only get 30 sweet, noggy days
- So then I says to Mabel, I says...
- SO I SAID TO HIM, LOOK, BUDDY, YOUR CAR WAS UPSIDE DOWN WHEN WE GOT HERE. AND AS FOR YOUR GRANDMA, SHE SHOULDNT HAVE MOUTHED OFF LIKE THAT!
- “Ow! Those gears down there really hurt!”
- Marge, dont discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. Its what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.
- Ah, now thats-a sensitivity. Right, Giuseppe? *Screeches* Giuseppe is happy monkey.
- Daddy, I had the craziest dream! Ralphie, Youre still in it!
- THERE, THERE. SHUT UP, BOY.
- Come see Bottomless Pete, natures cruelest mistake. Come for the freak, stay for the food!
- Well, Bart, your Uncle Arthur used to have a saying: Shoot em all and let God sort em out. Unfortunately, one day he put his theory into practice. It took 75 federal marshals to bring him down. Now, lets never speak of him again.
- We can’t even pay our bills and they’re drinking Royal Crown Cola.
- When Ive got a day off.
- BERSERK IS RIGHT!
- Mmm, I cant wait to eat that monkey!
- Im not a state! Im a monster!
- Whats your favourite movie? The Little Mermaid, at least until you taped over it. Thats right, The Odd Couple! So meet your comically mismatched roommate, Bart Simpson!
