- Oh Simpsons, cant you go five seconds without humiliating yourself?
- Slow down, Sir. Youre going to give yourself skin failure.
- Tis the season, Marge. We only get 30 sweet, noggy days
- The eating of an orange is a lot like a good marriage.
- Want me to get the cat down?
- You spoke while you were jinxed so I get to punch you in the arm. Sorry, its the law.
- Why must you turn my office into a house of lies?
- Yello? Youll have to speak up. Im wearing a towel.
- First youll need a declaration of war. That way everything you do will be nice and legal.
- me irl
- Uhh... hello... uhh... Mrs... uh... Bart. IS YOUR POOL READY YET??
- Neddy? Neddy!
- Homer, theres four places. Theres the Hammock Hut. Thats on third. Theres Hammocks-R-US. Thats on third too. You got Put-Your-Butt-There. Thats on third. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. Matter of fact, theyre all in the same complex. Its the Hammock Complex down on third.
- Stupid babies need the MOST attention!
- Blursed Jon
- Oh my God! He is like some sort of...non...giving up...school guy!
- Hello this is Moleman in the morning. Good Moleman to you.
- That’s it mister I am disgruntled. And up until now, I was relatively gruntled.
- Jasons Board
- Top-u stah noh cheezu map-u
- Where ya goin, baby? Going to find the corpses?
- memes
- hmmm
- “They were the children’s idea. I tried to stop them.” “It’s always the children’s fault, isn’t it Seymour?” “Yes. Yes it is, sir.”
- Flanders, you have no neck. Okely dokely, neighborino!
- Rapper Tekashi69 being arrested by NYPD (2018)
- Okay, okay, we need $40,000. Now, how much do we have in the check book? $70. Hmm... have we deposited any $40,000 checks that havent cleared yet?
- “Did you get the job? Nah, they wanted someone good. Story of my life.”
- Elephant fresh
- foto meme
- I’m a White male, age 18-49. Everyone listens to me! No matter HOW dumb my suggestions are.
- “Help me, Lisa! I have serious Mental Problems!
- Ha ha! Hey, that hurts. No wonder no-one came to my birthday party.
- Hey!! He looks just like you, pointdexter!!!
- Mr Mcclure, what does DNA stand for?
- Lisa Simpson
- Hey Homer, what did you do, get a haircut or something? Look closer, Lenny. Oh, I know what it is.. youre the biggest man in the world now... and youre covered in gold. Fourteen karat gold!
- Moe, Moe, Moe, Moe
- If youre the police, who will police the police?
- Well, Ive always been a firm believer in the three Rs. Reading TV Guide, writing to TV Guide and, um, renewing TV Guide.
- Homer Simpson - Junior Vice President: Compu-Global-Hyper-Mega-Net
- Schoolhouse dont put out spittoons, I aint responsible.
- Name me one person whos gotten rich by doing yo-yo tricks.
- All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think ill order a Tab.
- I am Lugash.
- Now, normally, the birth of Siamese twins is a joyous occasion...
- white nike socks
- Yes, Id like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 auto-gyro?
- I wore a 15 pound beard of bees for that woman
- It doesnt take a nucular scientist to pronounce foilage.
- cursed_bart
- Oh crap.... I shouldnt have attended that illegal golf dinner....
- A dog like this you have to feed every day!
- Watch the potty mouth, honey.
- “Ow! Those gears down there really hurt!”
- Mom, theres a weird smell and a lot of cursing coming from the basement, and dads upstairs.
- Simpsons frases
- Homer Simpson
- Look, Big Daddy, Its Regular Daddy.
I’m, I never thought I’d say this but should we be wearing some sort of moulded plastic? #thesimpsons #shitpost #simpsonsshitposting - @simpsonsshitpostsandstuff on Instagram
- Homer, I Insist you steal that car!
- Illustration & Wallpaper
- And now we go live to Eamonn Ryan
- La...tex condo. Boy, Id like to live in one of those!
- Milhouse: Bart! Nelson hit me! Bart: He sure did
- Villains when they try to run away from Anakin
- See all that stuff in there, Homer? That’s why your robot never worked.
- American Dad
- Gee, I dont know what youve got planned for tonight, Homer, but count me out.
- “That doll tried to kill me!” - “I’d say that the pressure has finally gotten to dad, but what pressure?”
- Canada
- BERSERK IS RIGHT!
- “Yeah, well, Scooby Doo can doo doo but Jimmy Carter, is smarter”
- Principal Skinner, I need some shews
🥳🥳🥳 Passed the half way point on my weightloss goal today, nearly 2 stone lighter than I was before lockdown. Really the only silver lining of lockdown for me was that for whatever reason it flipped a switch in my head and I set about getting healthier again... To be honest I probably passed the halfway point a few weeks ago because it took me about a month before I even stepped on a scales, but as of now Im both the lightest and healthiest Ive been in about 3 years, hopefully be down to my birth weight before the end of the year 😝 - @mc_savy on Instagram
- Who wants to guess how I got the money?
- Look! That kid’s got bosoms! Who’s got a wet towel?
- HELP! I NEED TUNGSTEN TO LIVE. TUNGSTEN!
- “It was the best of times, it was the BLURST of times?!”
- Here are your messages: You have thirty minutes to move your car. You have ten minutes. Your car has been impounded. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have thirty minutes to move your cube.
- cartoons
- GREENhorn?!... WHOs a greenhorn?!.... WHATs a greenhorn?!
- Systems analyst, systems analyst, systems analyst...
- Well theyll...When they find him, um...mumble mumble
- Yes, Id like to send this letter to the Prussian Consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?
- ...By the way, Im aware of the irony of appearing on TV in order to decry it, so dont bother pointing that out.
- Were going out, Marge! If we dont come back, avenge our deaths!
- I see your reading the newspaper. Everything but the opinion page. I dont need to be told what to think. By anyone living.
- According to this magazine, Bart might be jealous of her. Yeah, well, Bart can kiss my hairy yellow butt.
- Godspeed, little doodle...
- Yeah, alright, listen up guys. The Springfield police have told me that 91% of all traffic accidents are caused by you six guys
- Sir, why did you wait until the last minute to pay your taxes?
- What’s your name son?
- Simpsons Family Christmas Card 2016
- Homer, youre as dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. If a strange man offers you a ride, I say take it!
- A Perfectly Crumulent Board
- Come onnnn, leave town!
- Look at me, Im a grad student. Im 30 years old and I made $600 last year.
- Stephen Jay Gould
- RIP Anthony Bourdain
- This was originally a Halloween costume, but it found its way into my regular rotation.
- When you drive through Longford for the first time
- Dear Mr. President: there are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. I am not a crackpot.
- The Thing About Huckleberries Is: Once Youve Had Fresh, Youll Never Go Back To Canned.
- Listen up, guys. The Springfield police told me that 91% of all traffic accidents are caused by you six guys.
- Dont Blame Me. I voted for Kodos.
- If kids are so innocent, why is everything bad named after them? Acting CHILDish, KIDnapping, CHILD abuse.... What about ADULTery? Not until youre older, son.
- (In honor of the first day of Spring) —Look, fellas! The first snapdragon of the season!
- Stealing, how could you?! Havent you learned anything from that guy who gives sermons at church, Captain whats his name?
- SO I SAID TO HIM, LOOK, BUDDY, YOUR CAR WAS UPSIDE DOWN WHEN WE GOT HERE. AND AS FOR YOUR GRANDMA, SHE SHOULDNT HAVE MOUTHED OFF LIKE THAT!
- ummm...Youre on your own!
- Ed Edd y Eddy
- Ive been in prison, Cecil. Ill be happy just as long as it doesnt taste like orange drink fermented under a radiator.
- I don’t know what you have planned tonight, but count me out.
- Where’s Christmas?!?!
- Dad, you killed zombie Flanders! He was a zombie?
- Excellent Zutroy!
- Me after reading the Black Pudding thread
- My friend and I have a bet. Are you Mary Tyler Moore?
- Please kill me
- Marge, get me your address book, 4 beers and my conversation hat
- It was worth sneaking into town. That was some good corn.
- Dad, women dont like being shot in the face. Women will like what I tell them to like.
- So I said, Look buddy, your car was upside-down when I got here. And as for your grandmother, she shouldnt have mouthed off like that.
- Homer, dont take this personally, but Ive obtained a court order to prevent you from planning this wedding.
- Blursed Simpsons
- Fav Animated TV/Movies characters
- You see, boy? The real money is in bootlegging. Not in your childish vandalism.
- Have you noticed any change in Bart? New glasses? No. He looks like something might be disturbing him. Probably misses his old glasses.
- Oh no, Bette Midler!
- Its for the woman who only has four-fifths of a second to get ready
- Theyre all covered with filthy germs! Arent they, Smithers?
- But you let in Homer Glumplich!
- How come Bart gets to do that and I cant spend one night lurking in the bushes at Chef Boyardees house?
To all of our beautiful hair family, stay strong during this difficult time.We love you 💜💙 - @salonsupport on Instagram
- I thought I’d chauffeur myself this evening. Yes, that’s what I thought. How difficult can it be? Im sure the manual will indicate which lever is the velocitator and which the deceleratrix.
- You know, Marge, in some ways you and I are very different people.
- This is nothing but dead-white-male bashing from a PC thug. Its women like you who keep the rest of us from landing a husband.
- Wesley, get mamas pryin bar
- Me when I saw egg nog at the grocery store today.
- Mouse pads!!! Get your mouse pads!!
- What’s so special about this game anyway? It’s just another chapter in the pointless rivalry between Springfield and Shelbyville. They built a mini-mall, so we built a bigger mini-mall. They made the world’s largest pizza, so we burned down their city hall.
- hmmm
- As a young kid in the early 90s, I legit thought this was Michael Jackson.
- Simpson wallpaper iphone
- Hey lady, Santa is gonna be here right? He just HAS to!
- Patty y Selma
- Neddy! Neddy! Lets get in a quick nine down at the Pitch N Putt.
- Have you been up all night eating cheese? I think Im blind.
- Dear Lord, thank you for Ziggy comics, little baby ducks, and Sweatin to the Oldies volumes one, two and four.
- “I want to help you, George Washington?” Even your dreams are square.
- Everybody... Everybody get naked!
- Well, Bart, your Uncle Arthur used to have a saying: Shoot em all and let God sort em out. Unfortunately, one day he put his theory into practice. It took 75 federal marshals to bring him down. Now, lets never speak of him again.
- I have a ball. Perhaps youd like to bounce it.
- Our defence today
- Umm... I shoot birds at the airport.
- Now listen up. Its your basic Statue of Liberty play with one twist. You throw it to me. Knute Rockne called it the forward pass.
- Wesley, get mommas pryin bar!
- No, Ultrasuede is a miracle. This is just good timing.
- Yeah I bought your little mutt.... And I ate him!
- My knob tastes funny
- Soon you’ll have a mighty hump.
- A show about a doll? Why not write a musical about the common cat, or the King of Siam?
- Pipe down sister, I gotta book a new act for tonight. Turns out that Liza Minnelli impersonator was actually Liza Minnelli *Shudders*
- My purpose in life is to witness this moment
- I gotta go, my damn wiener kids are listening.
- un-zipping... Homer, no!
- “Excuse me. Are you Drew Barrymore?”
- This ain’t no five-X whiskey. I can still see. S12E21
- Hello, Simpson. Im riding the bus because mother hid my car keys to punish me for talking to a woman on the phone. She was right to do it.
- hmmm
- When Ive got a day off.
- Am i really that ugly?
- This is the Simpsons Rumpus Room. Its found at the rear of the house, its only been seen once or twice in the entire series.
- Fan Theory: Snrub is actually Mr Burns in disguise
- just remember, one of our patients is a cannibal. Try to guess which one! I think youll be pleasantly surprised
- ...Ohhh my god! Oh, god, no! Oh this can’t be happening! You’re operating without a T-437, Springfield!!
- Your father can be surprisingly sensitive. When I giggled at his Sherlock Holmes hat, he sulked for a week and then closed his detective agency.
- You...went to outer space? You? Sure, youve never been?... Would you like to see my Grammy Award?
- Theres plenty of Milhouse to go around!
- Want to change your name to Homer Junior? The kids can call you HoJu!
- Ive got a GUT feeling Uters around here somewhere... after all, isnt there a little UTER in all of us? In fact, you might say we just ATE Uter and hes in our stomachs right now! Wait. Scratch that one.
- Despite Barts objections, The People of South Africa can now vote in free Democratic elections.
- Lisa: Id like 25 copies on goldenrod, 25 on canary, 25 on saffron and 25 on paella.
- me irl
- Lmao
- HeybuddyyougottaslowyourcardownandletmeinbecauseImabigfatguyandIcantgoanywherebecausetherecouldbesomepoisongasImeantheresreallygoingtobepoisongasandeverybodysgoingtobedeadESPECIALLYME!!!!
- Hello, Selma? Selma, my dear, how are you? Uh huh...uh huh...uh huh...listen, shut up for a second.
- I want to see you both fighting for your parents love! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
- First thing tomorrow morning, Im gonna punch Lenny in the back of the head.
- THE SİMPSONS
- Here are some words that rhyme with Corey:
- Egyptian hieroglyphics are invented, 3100 B.C.
- My name is Hans. Drinking has ruined my life. I’m 31 years old.”
- Don’t forget the smell!
- My Geod must be acknowledged!
- Did you have to salt the Earth so nothing would grow?
- OH, YOU WANT A ROCK FIGHT, EH?
- in love meme
- I didnt think he was going to do Moon River but then BAM, second encore!
- Hey fun boys get a room!
- Even as we speak, Ayatollah Razmara and his cadre of fanatics are consolidating their power.
- Homer, we gotta do something. Today, hes drinking peoples blood. Tomorrow, he could be smoking!
- Get back to wherever it is you work... whoever you are.
- “Oh, Smithers, guide me in” “My pleasure, sir”
- Homer Simpson, smiling politely
- Well if it isnt my old friend Mr McGreg...with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg!
- Lisa Simpson
- Why? Its not like anything interesting happened to anyone else today.
- See, Lisa? Males aren’t hard to tame. They all follow their video cartridges.
- THERE, THERE. SHUT UP, BOY.
- Sr. Burns
- I don’t wanna hit a sore spot, but can we talk about herpies??
- Brandishing your buttocks is only getting me angrier!
- Well, if its a crime to love ones country, then Im guilty. And if its a crime to steal a trillion dollars from our government and hand it over to communist Cuba, then Im guilty of that too. And if its a crime to bribe a jury, then so help me, Ill soon be guilty of that!
- Kicking and screaming please
- And Lisa, I guess this is the time to tell you ... youre adopted and I dont like you. BART!
- You know, I always felt you were the best thing my name ever got attached to ... I just want you to know Ive always been proud of you. Youre my greatest accomplishment and and you did it all yourself. You helped me understand my own wife better and taught me to be a better person.
- “I did it. Second in line and all I had to do was miss eight days of work.” “With the money you would have made working, you could’ve bought tickets from a scalper.”
- Hey Bart, do you have a best friend yet? Cause Ive been looking for someone to boss me around.
- I ate two grapes. Please charge me for them.
- Son...let’s stop the fussin’ n the feuding’. I love you pa! I love you Cletus!
- Mr. Simpson, dont you worry. I watched Matlock in a bar last night. The sound wasnt on, but I think I got the gist of it.
- Oh, so now were judging each other based on things weve done!? Real fair. Class act.
- Some days, we don’t let the line move at all. We call those “weekdays”.
- It was worth sneaking into town. That was some good corn.
- Patty y Selma
- Arnold ❤️ Helga
- Now Homer dont you eat this pie.
- We spray her with the hose soaking her from head to toe, leaving us relatively dry. Relatively? Well, theres bound to be some splash-back.
- I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work a lot harder when im around.
- hmmm
- Slow down sir, youre going to give yourself skin failure!
- I know you dont think youre good enough for me, but believe me, you are. Hell, I done it with pigs. Real, no-foolin pigs.
- lisa simpsons
- Now theres an employee, Smithers. A smile on his lips and a song in his heart. Promote him!
- Marge, can we switch? I dont trust these guys.
- Cant talk - keeping myself in a state of cat-like readiness.
- You know, when I was a boy I really wanted a catchers mitt, but my dad wouldnt get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage.
- Uh, Springfield, my computer shows your T-437 is fully operational. Uh, I suggest you- Oh, my God! Oh, God, no! Oh, this cant be happening! Youre operating without a T-437, Springfield! Oh, sweet mother of mercy! I mean- I mean, my God!
- I SAW THE WHOLE THING. FIRST, IT STARTED FALLING OVER... AND THEN IT FELL OVER.
- My God youre greasy.
- Compu-Global-Hyper-Mega-Net, junior vice-president Homer Simpson speaking. How may I direct your call?
- Look daddy! Todd is stupid and I’m with him!
- Bart, cart, dart, eeyart... Nope. Cant see any problem with that
- What a day, eh, Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing. Bees are trying to have sex with them... as is my understanding.
- aesthetic, but make it yellow
- Badger my ass, its probably Milhouse!
- @simpscns on Instagram
- “Cheer up, Dad. Did you know the Chinese use the same word for crisis as they do for opportunity?” “Yes. ‘Crisitunity’!”
- A+? You dont think much of me, do you, boy? No, sir. You know, a D turns into a B so easily. You just got greedy.
- Whats a battle?
- Homer, you should be more supportive. Youre right Marge, good work boy........... ♪ Egghead likes his Booky-Wook! ♪
- @simpscns on Instagram
- Anyone else love Hey Arnold as a kid?
- “Hi, Lisa. Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers. Meow. I’m learnding.”
- What a day, eh, Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing. Bees are trying to have sex with them... as is my understanding. It is a gorgeously fabulous day.
- “A professional in an ape mask is still a professional”
- So then I says to Mabel, I says...
- You know the door was open, Chief Break Everything!
- I own the electric company and the water works, plus the hotel on Baltic Avenue. That hotels a dump and your monopolys pathetic.
- I need a price check on two grapes! Yeah, you heard me, Phil. Two measly, stinkin grapes.
- Stickers
- Homer, are you just holding onto the cans?
- Look Marge, Maggie lost her baby legs!
- blursed_switcharoo
- A congenital heart defect has apparently felled Tatum moments before he could step into the ring.
- Barts teacher is named Krabappel? Ive been calling her Crandall. Why didnt someone tell me?!
- The bee bit my bottom! Now my bottoms big!
- The trick is to say youre prejudiced against all races.
- “Don’t worry boy, when you get a job like me, you’ll miss every summer”
- Checkmate. Checkmate. Checkmate.
- “Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?” “Yeah, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.”
- Since my other post with the reversed color schemes got so much attention, I present you with: Rick and Morty characters, as Simpsons characters, as Rick and Morty characters
- Simpsons - Characters
- Hi Lisa! Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers!
- Strange, I shouldnt have been able to hear that
- Lisa Simpson
- “Hey! My dad May have gained a little weight, but he’s not some kind of food-crazed maniac.”
- March 15th: I wish Id brought a TV. Oh god, how I miss TV.
- Im not a state! Im a monster!
- I know where we can get some baguettes! Happy bastille day everyone!
- Wesley get mamas prying bar.
- Can we just have a minute to reflect on how this sub never talks about bottomtooth?
- You know Homer, its very easy to criticise. Fun too!
- Skinner says the teachers will crack any minute purple monkey dishwasher.
- Hey! My dad may have gained a little weight, but hes not some sort of food crazed maniac!
- We can’t even pay our bills and they’re drinking Royal Crown Cola.
- My basic understanding of Mythic Markets
- I see you’ve played knifey-spoony before
- No, Lisa, but I sure dont want to eat this crappy breakfast.
- Art Humor
- Okay. Heres what weve got. The Rand Corporation in conjunction with the saucer people... Thank you. Under the supervision of the reverse vampires are forcing our parents to go to bed early in a fiendish plot to eliminate the meal of dinner!
- I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant
- Im only allergic to honey, wheat, dairy, non-dairy and my own tears
- Simpsons
- Trust me, Bart... its better to walk in on both your parents than on just one of em.
- This is a pretzel town, pretty boy.
- Yeah, they took her off the market after some kid put both his eyes out
- Whats your favourite movie? The Little Mermaid, at least until you taped over it. Thats right, The Odd Couple! So meet your comically mismatched roommate, Bart Simpson!
