- What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?
- Oh, I cant take his money. I cant print my own money. I have to work for money. Why dont I just lie down and die?
- Spare me your euphemisms! Its fat camp for Daddys chubby little secret!
- just remember, one of our patients is a cannibal. Try to guess which one! I think youll be pleasantly surprised
- Smithers, I’m afraid I won’t be able to play tonight. My old gimpy knee has gone akimbo again.. Take that! Ooh, Smithers that precision assault popped it back into place, thank you masked stranger!
- This can’t be right. This man has a 104% body fat. Hey, no eating in the tank!
- Man alive! There are men alive in here.
- You there, fill it up with petroleum distillate and re-vulcanize my tires, post haste.
- Strike three, Marge! I remember that meeting and I have a photographic memory...
- Give it a try, its like kissing a peanut!
- Sr. Burns
- Look, Big Daddy, Its Regular Daddy.
- Well if it isnt my old friend Mr McGreg...with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg!
- The metric system is the tool of the devil! My car gets 40 rods to the hogshead and thats the way I likes it!
- Oh, you wanna rock fight eh? Heh heh heh...
- I want to see you both fighting for your parents love! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
- Oh yeah, me-medicinal! I... Without it, I could go ehhh... go even blinder! Right?
- social distance
- Tell you what. We come back and everyone is slaughtered, I owe you a coke.
- It’s hard for us to leave when you’re standing in the way mom
- See, Lisa? Instead of one big shot controlling all the media, now theres a thousand freaks xeroxing their worthless opinions.
- Strange, I shouldnt have been able to hear that
- Soon you’ll have a mighty hump.
- Ooh! Ive never had a pair of pants that fit this well in my life!
- Ive been in prison, Cecil. Ill be happy just as long as it doesnt taste like orange drink fermented under a radiator.
- Where’s Christmas?!?!
- Ive got a GUT feeling Uters around here somewhere... after all, isnt there a little UTER in all of us? In fact, you might say we just ATE Uter and hes in our stomachs right now! Wait. Scratch that one.
- And since Id achieved all my goals as President in one term, there was no need for a second. The end. Hmm, good memoirs. Good, not great.
- “There’s also this report of a shipment of drugs and illegal weapons coming into New Jersey tonight.” “I hardly think the FBI’s concerned with matters like that.”
- ZZZZZZZAp!
- Stupid babies need the MOST attention!
- Why? Its not like anything interesting happened to anyone else today.
- fall
- And all this time Ive been smoking harmless tobacco!
- This is nothing but dead-white-male bashing from a PC thug. Its women like you who keep the rest of us from landing a husband.
- Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Simpson? This is Detective Don Brodka from Try-N-Save security. Thats right, Don Brodka. Your son Bart has been caught shoplifting. Uh-huh. Yeah, its a shame, I know, but, well... try and have a merry Christmas.
- “But surely you can’t put a price on your families lives?” “I wouldn’t have thought so either, but here we are.”
- Blursed forward facing Burns and Smithers
- Nonsense! Dogs are idiots. Think about it, Smithers. If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say?
- Hi-dilly-ho. Welcome to your new home, neglect-areenos
- Oh no, Bette Midler!
- Homer, dont take this personally, but Ive obtained a court order to prevent you from planning this wedding.
- In the episode Bendin in the Wind when Fry pulls the bong from under the seat of the van, Hermes was the only one startled by it
- Did you know that theres a direct correlation between the decline of Spirograph and the rise in gang activity? Think about it.
- When you check your online banking after a night of lovely pints
- My ear hurts and my neck hurts, I have two owies.
- The bee bit my bottom! Now my bottoms big!
- For your information, The Daily Growl is the only newspaper thats not afraid to say how great this country is.
- Welcome to your new home, neglecterinos!
- The eating of an orange is a lot like a good marriage.
- I told him that photo would come back to haunt him.
- Awww. This isnt gonna be about Jesus, is it?
- hello.. uhm.. mrs.. uhh.. bart.... IS YOUR POOL READY YET?
- Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn’t hear anyone laughing, did you?!?
- You can build a casino over my dead body!
- That’s it mister I am disgruntled. And up until now, I was relatively gruntled.
- Here are your messages: You have thirty minutes to move your car. You have ten minutes. Your car has been impounded. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have thirty minutes to move your cube.
- Theres a hole in my heart; As deep as a well...
- GREENhorn?!... WHOs a greenhorn?!.... WHATs a greenhorn?!
- Some days, we don’t let the line move at all. We call those “weekdays”.
- Meu Reddit esses últimos dias só aparece isso, que que tá acontecendo? Estão distribuindo emoji award?
- Well, sure. Its not my job to talk people out of killing themselves
- Funs over, fellas. If youre going to beat up my friend in my bar, theres a two-drink minimum.
- Quick, mods are sleeping, disband the PTA!
- Did you just call me a liar?
- Fotografía del reddit meetup México. Circa 2018 (colorizada).
- When youre alone and life is making you lonely, you can always go ACK...DOON TOON
- “I want to help you, George Washington?” Even your dreams are square.
- Gahhhhhh. Oh, hello, Mater! Um, sorry about pulling the plug on you and all, who could have known youd pull through and live for another five decades? Oh, is my face red!
- Yeah, you heard your mother.
- SO I SAID TO HIM, LOOK, BUDDY, YOUR CAR WAS UPSIDE DOWN WHEN WE GOT HERE. AND AS FOR YOUR GRANDMA, SHE SHOULDNT HAVE MOUTHED OFF LIKE THAT!
- Compadres, it is imperative that we crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season. And remember, a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya.
- Whenever the crew goes out to dinner, Frys outfit is actually pretty stylish...
- “Ha Ha” “Hey, Nelson. Hes really hurt. I think he broke his leg.“ “I said: Ha Ha.”
- Attention Marge Simpson. Weve also arrested your older, balder, fatter son.
- You know the door was open, Chief Break Everything!
- (In honor of the first day of Spring) —Look, fellas! The first snapdragon of the season!
- Son...let’s stop the fussin’ n the feuding’. I love you pa! I love you Cletus!
- Hot stuff, coming through
- I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant
- Anime
- Oh Simpsons, cant you go five seconds without humiliating yourself?
- Its 11 oclock do you know where your children are? I told you last night, NO!!!
- I spent the next three years in a P.O.W. camp, forced to subsist on a thin stew made of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk and four kinds of rice. I came close to madness trying to find it here in the States but they just cant get the spices right.
- Good lord! Theres a fly in my drink
- Do we sell French.....Fries?
- Me, when Im looking for a place to rent
- Kicking and screaming please
- Uhh... hello... uhh... Mrs... uh... Bart. IS YOUR POOL READY YET??
- If a cow ever got the chance, he would eat you and everyone you care about!
- Cant they get a pole for that sign?
- I don’t know what you have planned tonight, but count me out.
- Have you been up all night eating cheese? I think Im blind.
- I spent the next three years in a POW camp, forced to subsist on a thin stew made of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk, and four kinds of rice. I came close to madness trying to find it here in the States, but they just cant get the spices right.
- You know, when I was a boy I really wanted a catchers mitt, but my dad wouldnt get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage.
- Forgiveness Please
- It was worth sneaking into town. That was some good corn.
- Ann Landers is a boring old biddy
- See my Vest!
- Dont Blame Me. I voted for Kodos.
- Hey, this TVs not broken, its just unplugged!
- “Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true.”
- “Hey fellas, good news! I found an extra 75W bulb lying around”
- Attention Marge Simpson. Weve also arrested your older, balder, fatter son.
- Better turn on the ol’ Wiggum charm
- Of course we could make things more challenging, Lisa, but then the stupider students would be in here complaining. Furrowing their brows in a vain attempt to understand the situation.
- Listen up, guys. The Springfield police told me that 91% of all traffic accidents are caused by you six guys.
- Well, well, well Ive never seen such reckless disregard for a wifes well- being in my life. You just won yourselves a motorcycle.
- Bart tests Homer’s strength
- Animated Primetime Series
- I’m a White male, age 18-49. Everyone listens to me! No matter HOW dumb my suggestions are.
- Tsk tsk tsk. You missed the baby, you missed the blind man.
- The first episode of The Simpsons was aired 25 years ago today [FIXED]
- I didnt think he was going to do Moon River but then BAM, second encore!
- Oooh January 1st! Better get going on those taxes, Neddy!
- Hey there, blimpy boy, flying through the sky all fancy free
- Who rigs every Oscar night?!
- “A professional in an ape mask is still a professional”
- My God youre greasy.
- For some reason, in Cape Feare (S5E2), whenever Homer gets Sideshow Bob’s first letter there is a mouse listening in.
- This was originally a Halloween costume, but it found its way into my regular rotation.
- Aw geez, theres always a line!
- Name me one person whos gotten rich by doing yo-yo tricks.
- Ow! My freaking ears!
- Dad, the heathens getting away. I see him son.
- Well, you keep using words like pasghetti and momatoes. You make numerous threatening references to the U.N.And at the end you repeat the words Screw Flanders over and over again.
- Standing Rock Energy Drink Anyone?
- The Simpsons ❣
- Young man, since you broke grandpas teeth, he gets to break yours.
- Oh, January first. Better get started on those taxes, Neddy.
- Pigs tend to chew. Id say he eats more like a duck.
- Geech gone to heaven, Mr. Terwilliger
- All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think ill order a Tab.
- I told you I aint a bear! Rawr Rawr Rawr, no one understands you, she-bear!
- Villains when they try to run away from Anakin
- Hey Dude, hes raggin on your cord
- Books
- Oh, sorry, kid, sorry. I’m not used to the laughter of children. It cuts through me like a dentist’s drill. But no, no, that was funny, that was funny, taking away my dignity like that.
- Youll have to speak up, Im wearing a towel...
- Why, there are no children here at the 4-H club either. Am I so out of touch?... No, its the children who are wrong!
- Goodbye Selma. Im not dead, idiot. I know, that was for the other patients.
- “Hi-dilly-ho! Welcome to to your new home neglect-a-renos!”
- HOLY JUMPING CESARS CATFISH! MY H HAS BEEN STOLEN!
- Yeah, I did see some bikers ride by here with a blue-haired woman about ten minutes ago. Said they were going to spend the night at Crystal Lake Campground, section K, space 217. Im sorry I cant be of more help.
- Slow down, Sir. Youre going to give yourself skin failure.
- These bloody things are everywhere. Theyre in the lift, in the lorry, in the bond wizard, and all over the Malanga Gildachuck!!
- Stop the inauguration! I just discovered our President-Elect got an F in second grade gym class!
- Homer, you knuckle-beak, I told you a hundred times: You gotta sell your pumpkin futures before Halloween! Before!
- I bet you can hear this image.
- Forget about the badge! When do we get the freaking guns!?
- Theres plenty of Milhouse to go around!
- Look! That kid’s got bosoms! Who’s got a wet towel?
- Donald Trump has hired goons raid his former doctors office. (2018)
- My theory is, Skinner likes dog food
- Hey, Homer way to get marge pregnant. Heh-heh-heh. This is getting very abstract, but thank you.
- We believe Burns still has that bill hidden somewhere in his house. But all weve ascertained from the satellite photos is that its not on the roof.
- Smithers, this plague doesnt scare me, Ive constructed a germ free chamber for myself, not a single microbe can get in or out. Who the devil are you?
- Potato man!
- You know, Marge, in some ways you and I are very different people.
- Simpsons frases
- ts 11:00. Do you know where your children are? I told you last night NO!
- Mr. Simpson, dont you worry. I watched Matlock in a bar last night. The sound wasnt on, but I think I got the gist of it.
- Excellent Zutroy!
- Am i really that ugly?
- “Help me, Lisa! I have serious Mental Problems!
- Yello? Youll have to speak up. Im wearing a towel.
- “Well everyone, the fact is, I havent ever had relations. I am a virgin.”
- Homer, youre as dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. If a strange man offers you a ride, I say take it!
- “Excuse me. Are you Drew Barrymore?”
- THERE, THERE. SHUT UP, BOY.
- A congenital heart defect has apparently felled Tatum moments before he could step into the ring.
- See, I got this friend named Joey Jo-jo Junior Shabadoo
- Sir. Uh, hello, sir. Yes. You look like a man who needs help satisfying his wife...
- Cursed_Simpsons
- You use words like pasghetti and mamatoes. You make numerous threatening references to the U.N. And at the end you repeat the words Screw Flanders over and over again.
- Man that tramps got the energy of a hobo. Yeah and he never stops punching, except to check on his bindle.
- I thought I’d chauffeur myself this evening. Yes, that’s what I thought. How difficult can it be? Im sure the manual will indicate which lever is the velocitator and which the deceleratrix.
- DONT YOU HATE PANTS?!?
- Weve syphoned extra power off from the orphanage. Who are they going to complain to? Their parents?
- Come see Bottomless Pete, natures cruelest mistake. Come for the freak, stay for the food!
- Barts teacher is named Krabappel? Ive been calling her Crandall. Why didnt someone tell me?!
- When I say put your beer on a coaster, I mean it!
- Where ya goin, baby? Going to find the corpses?
- Whats your favourite movie? The Little Mermaid, at least until you taped over it. Thats right, The Odd Couple! So meet your comically mismatched roommate, Bart Simpson!
- Look daddy! Todd is stupid and I’m with him!
- Moe, I havent seen the place this crowded since the government cracked down on you for excepting food stamps.
- Want to change your name to Homer Junior? The kids can call you Hoju
- Duh Homer why are we down here? I told you Bernie to guard the bee!
- But surely you cant put a price on your familys lives. I wouldnt have thought so either, but here we are.
- Don’t forget the smell!
- This is better than a movie. WHY?!
- Chief, you’re getting powdered sugar all over my floor. No I’m not, no I’m not. I’m, um.. dusting for prints.
- The gal Im stalking had me bumped back to 200 feet. - Moe Aw, Moe. Thats too far. - Lenny
- Uh, excuse me! Do you know where I can buy some, uh ... drugs?
- “I did it. Second in line and all I had to do was miss eight days of work.” “With the money you would have made working, you could’ve bought tickets from a scalper.”
- BRUNCH: Its not quite breakfast, its not quite lunch, but it comes with a slice of cantaloupe at the end. You dont get completely what you would at breakfast but you get a good meal!
- Simpsons Family Christmas Card 2016
- What’s your name son?
- Dear Neighbor. You are my brother. I love you. And yet I feel a great sadness in my bosom.
- Its true. I read it on a placemat at a restaurant.
- Sir, there are six cinder blocks missing... There will be no hospital then, Ill tell the children..
- Simpsons
- Thats ridiculous! The last tree held nine drums
- And Linda Carter wasn’t actually here?!
- Schoolhouse dont put out spittoons, I aint responsible.
- Youre all talk, Hamill! You never even finished jedi school!
- Ja, ja, ja... Mach schnell mit der art things, huh? I must get back to DanceCentrum in Stuttgart in time to see Kraftwerk.
- Me after reading the Black Pudding thread
- B-E! Four points. I challenge!
- No, Lisa, but I sure dont want to eat this crappy breakfast.
- Look Marge, Maggie lost her baby legs!
- Whats a battle?
- [S04E08] Tis no man. Tis a remorseless eatin machine!
- Me when I saw egg nog at the grocery store today.
- So then I says to Mabel, I says...
- Milhouse, baby! Lionel Hutz, your new agent, bodyguard, unauthorized biographer and drug dealer- uh, keeper-awayer.
- un-zipping... Homer, no!
- Donuts? I told you I dont like ethnic food!
- You...went to outer space? You? Sure, youve never been?... Would you like to see my Grammy Award?
- Yo, um, I must’ve like, fallen on a bullet, and it like, drove itself into my gut.
- Yes, Id like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 auto-gyro?
- Mmm, I cant wait to eat that monkey!
- Heres the keys “Elephants dont have keys.” “Ill just keep these, then.”
- I see your reading the newspaper. Everything but the opinion page. I dont need to be told what to think. By anyone living.
- Uh, my shirt fell off...
- Stanley is thoughtless, violent and loud. Marge, every second you spend with this man... he is crushing your fragile spirit.
- Hello, Simpson. Im riding the bus because mother hid my car keys to punish me for talking to a woman on the phone. She was right to do it.
- Dude, karma...kar-ma
- “Well, according to our computer-aging program she should look about... 25 years older.”
- Remember that New Years Eve party at Lennys?
- “Hi, Lisa. Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers. Meow. I’m learnding.”
- Mom, theres a weird smell and a lot of cursing coming from the basement, and dads upstairs.
- Yello? Youll have to speak up: Im wearing a towel.
- Hey, what the hell ya doin with my money at your house, Fred?
- That man ate all our shrimp! And two plastic lobsters.
- Listen, boozebags, I got a good thing going here. If you mess it up, I will out the one of you that is gay.
- A+? You dont think much of me, do you, boy? No, sir. You know, a D turns into a B so easily. You just got greedy.
- Despite Barts objections, The People of South Africa can now vote in free Democratic elections.
- In that family, nobody trusted nobody. They even brought their lawyers to Thanksgiving dinner!
- Homer, are you just holding onto the cans?
- We need a symbol. Something that says were gay and Republican.
- “Did you get the job? Nah, they wanted someone good. Story of my life.”
- Now Homer dont you eat this pie.
- Homer Simpson
- A show about a doll? Why not write a musical about the common cat, or the King of Siam?
- Blast! I took Mothers makeup kit by mistake.
- Blursed Simpsons
- Yeah, alright, listen up guys. The Springfield police have told me that 91% of all traffic accidents are caused by you six guys
- “Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?” “Yeah, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.”
- Well, sir, where shall we dump this batch? The playground? No. All those bald children are arousing suspicion.
- Cheers Show Secrets
- ummm...Youre on your own!
- Bart, cart, dart, eeyart... Nope. Cant see any problem with that
- “Sorry, the law requires a five day waiting period. We’ve got to run a background check.” “Five days? But I’m mad now.”
- When I first heard of the operation, I was against it. But then I thought, if Homer wants to be a woman, so be it.
- Daddy, I had the craziest dream! Ralphie, Youre still in it!
- Cant talk - keeping myself in a state of cat-like readiness.
- Stealing, how could you?! Havent you learned anything from that guy who gives sermons at church, Captain whats his name?
- So, I says, blue M&M, red M&M, they all wind up the same colour in the end.
- Well theyll...When they find him, um...mumble mumble
- Gee, I dont know what youve got planned for tonight, Homer, but count me out.
- @simpscns on Instagram
- Oh, this is the worst party ever! I dont know. Remember that New Years Eve at Lennys? He didnt even have a clock.
- Im not a state! Im a monster!
- Ooh, whats with the lead pipe, were you going to give my noggin a floggin?
- HEY MR SMITHERS!
- Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me.
- Skinner says the teachers will crack any minute purple monkey dishwasher.
- I own the electric company and the water works, plus the hotel on Baltic Avenue. That hotels a dump and your monopolys pathetic.
- Umm... I shoot birds at the airport.
- No, Ultrasuede is a miracle. This is just good timing.
- You mean the mob only did me a favor to get something in return? Oh Fat Tony... I will say good day to you sir.
- Why no love for Larry Burns? Easily one of the best one time characters! Now let’s party!
- We can’t even pay our bills and they’re drinking Royal Crown Cola.
- Miss Belle, were about to do our Around the World number, but Monte Carlo cant find her dice!
- All opposed? Me. Who keeps saying that? It was him, lets get him fellas.
- Hi Lisa! Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers!
- When Marge told me she was going to the police academy I thought it would be fun and exciting, like that movie, Spaceballs! But instead its been painful and disturbing like that movie Police Academy.
- I was born a snake handler and ill die a snake handler
- “Ow! Those gears down there really hurt!”
- Tis the season, Marge. We only get 30 sweet, noggy days
- Have you noticed any change in Bart? New glasses? No. He looks like something might be disturbing him. Probably misses his old glasses.
- You spoke while you were jinxed so I get to punch you in the arm. Sorry, its the law.
- Kirk, crackers are a family food. Happy Families. Maybe single people eat crackers, we dont know. Frankly, we dont want to know. Its a market we could do without.
- “My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.” “Okay Mr. Burns, what’s your first name?” “I don’t know.”
- Homer Simpson, smiling politely
- Thats the same thing, you just replaced Dees with Doos.
- Comics and Cartoons
- Since my other post with the reversed color schemes got so much attention, I present you with: Rick and Morty characters, as Simpsons characters, as Rick and Morty characters
- Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow but I must say, you steam a good ham.
- I fixed the DVD!
- We need some more secret sauce. Put this mayonnaise in the sun.
- Were going out, Marge! If we dont come back, avenge our deaths!
- Ah, now thats-a sensitivity. Right, Giuseppe? *Screeches* Giuseppe is happy monkey.
- Well, its 1AM. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.
- If kids are so innocent, why is everything bad named after them? Acting CHILDish, KIDnapping, CHILD abuse.... What about ADULTery? Not until youre older, son.
- Smithers, Im home. What...already? Yes.
- O Simpson
- Oh, so now were judging each other based on things weve done!? Real fair. Class act.
- BERSERK IS RIGHT!
