- Well, its 1AM. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.
- perfect sandwich... why
- Dear Lord, thank you for Ziggy comics, little baby ducks, and Sweatin to the Oldies volumes one, two and four.
- Forgive-a-ness please
- Get back to wherever it is you work... whoever you are.
- Mr. Simpson, dont you worry. I watched Matlock in a bar last night. The sound wasnt on, but I think I got the gist of it.
Thank you to everyone who has donated to Kimberly and Andy so far! In total we have received over $6,000 in donations. Please continue to share and donate to help them in their time of need. To donate please click on the link in our bio. - @greghillfoundation on Instagram
- Well, Bart, your Uncle Arthur used to have a saying: Shoot em all and let God sort em out. Unfortunately, one day he put his theory into practice. It took 75 federal marshals to bring him down. Now, lets never speak of him again.
- Hello grandpa my old friend........
- just know that if we are on a date, I’m not wearing any undies
- Cant talk - keeping myself in a state of cat-like readiness.
- I got stabbed by a plant on a hike three weeks ago and this guy went straight in. Yesterday, it finally poked its head out and I unsheathed him.
- Mom, theres a weird smell and a lot of cursing coming from the basement, and dads upstairs.
- We all know his name.
- How to beat your two-dimensional clone in a bike race
- Just an issue with the bank... and a lack of money in it - Ive thrown this around casually.
- That’s it mister I am disgruntled. And up until now, I was relatively gruntled.
- “My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.” “Okay Mr. Burns, what’s your first name?” “I don’t know.”
- You’ll be in me - Phil Collins
- Can’t we all just get along?
- Look Marge, Maggie lost her baby legs!
- Blursed Lois Griffin
- Dude, karma...kar-ma
- ILL DIE BEFORE I SURRENDER, TIM.
- How dio felt in jonathans body
- Thats Cookie Kwan. Shes number one on the west side.
- Me_irl
- Oh my god! Damn you snowww!!
- Top-u stah noh cheezu map-u
- Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Batman? I aint messing with no caped crusader.
- “Last day on Earth, last chance to do this. Im going to find a black neighborhood and see what happens if I yell the you-know-what word.”
- Ooh! Ive never had a pair of pants that fit this well in my life!
- Now this is the room with electricity, but it has too much electricity. So I dont know, you might want to wear a hat.
- Cursed_Face_swap
- Me? In a nuclear power plant...hehehe Kaboom!
- Blursed_love
- More Creamed corn Jimbo Jr?
- When you have an erection the size of an East coast lighthouse.
- “Nice PJs, Simpson! Did your mommy buy em for you?” “Of course she did. Who else would have?”
- Uh, lets see...Ill have...one...uh...
- Soon you’ll have a mighty hump.
It’s Fri-yay!!! Any good plans this weekend furriends !? by @corgsandfriends - @modelcorgis on Instagram
- 😱
- Back for another PLASTT! Like my look?
- The Kids menu is on the beak
- HEY BUDDY, YOU GOTTA SLOW YOUR CAR DOWN AND LET ME IN, BECAUSE IM A BIG FAT GUY AND I CANT GO ANYWHERE! BECAUSE THERE COULD BE SOME POISON GAS, I MEAN THERES REALLY GOING TO BE POISON GAS, AND EVERYBODYS GOING TO BE DEAD, ESPECIALLY ME!
- Kinda shy to post this one.... but I’m doing it anyway 🙈
- Figurinhas
- I think he’s a good man, I like him. I’ve got nothing against him, but I’m definitely going to make orphans of his children.
- Still warm...
- Chernobyl Reactor 4 conducts a test. Colorized 1986
- Seattle finally got the its Spring time memo!
- Ooh, okay, duuuuuuude, I wouldnt want you to have a cow, maaaaaaan! Heres a catchphrase youd better learn for your adult years: Hey, buddy, GOT A QUARTER?!
- PsBattle: Trump excitedly leading French President Emmanuel Macron by the hand
- Hey Dude, hes raggin on your cord
- Free Music with Every Happy Meal!
- Marge, do you respect my intelligence?
- Its my cake day! Heres to the inspiration behind my username, Miss Winnie!
- Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me.
- My favourite part of newly opened Past-o-Rama? The historical accuracy
- One happy corgi coming up
- I fixed the DVD!
- Uma on a hike in Keystone.
- A show about a doll? Why not write a musical about the common cat, or the King of Siam?
- “Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true.”
- How to kill brain cells
- The ventriloquist goes to heaven, but the dummy doesn’t.
- Emily is in season one, and Todd calls her his girlfriend
- Thought I’d jump on the hydrangea train! This is the bush in our backyard. We purchased the home in winter and were so surprised when this happened! Any guesses at how tall it is?? (My hubby is 6ft)
- I own the electric company and the water works, plus the hotel on Baltic Avenue. That hotels a dump and your monopolys pathetic.
- Go home fellas
- Fooled you, Flanders! Made you think your family was dead.
- When Marge told me she was going to the police academy I thought it would be fun and exciting, like that movie, Spaceballs! But instead its been painful and disturbing like that movie Police Academy.
- Bobs Burgers
- Dandelions
- Badger my ass, its probably Milhouse
- O Simpson
- Blursed Candice
- Grandpa: “But there’s spiders in the boxes”
- Chief, you’re getting powdered sugar all over my floor. No I’m not, no I’m not. I’m, um.. dusting for prints.
- I live in a single room above a bowling alley, and below another bowling alley.
- Standing Rock Energy Drink Anyone?
- Diabetes and Holidays
- Listening to Saint Pablo for the first time
- Aw geez, theres always a line!
- Heres a selfie I took back in japan
Newman and Barley the #corgis were the best dog and dog of honor in their humans wedding ceremony. Photos by @chrisandbeccaphoto Instead of tangible favors, the couple donated to their favorite rescue. #dailydogtag #dogsarefamily #dogsarethebest #weddingdog #dogsatweddings #weddingdogwednesday . . . . .r . #whatthefluff #weeklyfluffrk #fortheloveofpets #petoftheday #icanteven #lovepetzz #corgilovers #corgilover - @dailydogtag on Instagram
- Hey, what the hell ya doin with my money at your house, Fred?
- I should be resisting but Im paralyzed with rage... And island rhythms!
- Quick, mods are sleeping, disband the PTA!
- My cans! My precious, antique cans!
- What is Quag doing?
- Back you go, to waits for a woman of less discriminating tastes.
- Words of wisdom from Lenny.
- How to seduce your grandfather.
- Sixty watts? What do you think this is, a tanning salon?
- YOU ALSO HAVE SEVERAL DISEASES THAT HAVE JUST BEEN DISCOVERED... IN YOU.
- Fotografía del reddit meetup México. Circa 2018 (colorizada).
- Yeah, I did see some bikers ride by here with a blue-haired woman about ten minutes ago. Said they were going to spend the night at Crystal Lake Campground, section K, space 217. Im sorry I cant be of more help.
- Jerry Sanders - Mayor, San Diego
- Blursed joe
- No pets allowed
- Canada
- B-E! Four points. I challenge!
- Attention Marge Simpson. Weve also arrested your older, balder, fatter son.
- Im not convinced!
- To everyone in r/happy who said it wouldn’t last. Still happy, and still together!
- Front facing Joe and haunted Louis is real.
- ZZZZZZZAp!
- Man that tramps got the energy of a hobo. Yeah and he never stops punching, except to check on his bindle.
- Smithers, I’m afraid I won’t be able to play tonight. My old gimpy knee has gone akimbo again.. Take that! Ooh, Smithers that precision assault popped it back into place, thank you masked stranger!
- Oh my lord, something horrible has happened!
- But Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills! Youre from two different worlds!
- What will you be doing, Smithers? Something gay, no doubt!
- Simpsons Family Christmas Card 2016
- Blursed loss
- Maybe a bit typical - but were thrilled. Flew out and drove back our new van this weekend!
- Every muscle in my bodys getting a workout... especially my big fat mouth
- You spoke while you were jinxed so I get to punch you in the arm. Sorry, its the law.
- No ones gonna talk about this? Could it be hinting at a future plot that lasts multiple episodes where Peter and Lois divorce?
- You there, fill it up with petroleum distillate and re-vulcanize my tires, post haste.
- “Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?” “Yeah, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.”
- NO. IM JUST GOING OUT TO COMMIT CERTAIN DEEDS.
- Tsk tsk tsk. You missed the baby, you missed the blind man.
- “A professional in an ape mask is still a professional”
- Have you noticed any change in Bart? New glasses? No. He looks like something might be disturbing him. Probably misses his old glasses.
- How to show off your camel toe
- Dont bother calling 911 anymore. Heres the real number.
- Well, sir, where shall we dump this batch? The playground? No. All those bald children are arousing suspicion.
- Everyones saying star wars this! And Kylo Ren that! But no ones saying worship this! And Jericho that!
Corgi super adventurer . 🐶 : @topithecorgi . #corgi #corgisofinstagram #corgipuppy #corgibutt #corgis #corgidog #puppy #dog #puppies #corgifun #corgirules #corgiworld #corgiwalk #corgivideo #corgimania - @corgi.puppy on Instagram
- “Lisa likes Nelson!” “She does not!” “Milhouse likes Lisa!” “He does not!” Janey likes Milhouse! She does not! Uter likes Milhouse! NOBODY LIKES MILHOUSE!
- Whats a battle?
- Joe mama
- Arent we forgetting something, Marge? You were down $5,200.
- You know, most people dont know the difference between Apple Cider and Apple Juice but I do.
- Thats the same thing, you just replaced Dees with Doos.
- Rockquotes/lyrics
- “I got the idea when I noticed the refrigerator was cold.“
- hmmm
- I can’t deal
- Have you been up all night eating cheese? I think Im blind.
- [x post from r/Americandad] Title was originally “When someone on my Facebook tries to sell me Advocare...” Definitely my next go to response.
- Cheers Show Secrets
- Pigs tend to chew. Id say he eats more like a duck.
- Neddy? Neddy!
- Attention Marge Simpson. Weve also arrested your older, balder, fatter son.
- Hello this is Moleman in the morning. Good Moleman to you.
- Authorities believe the wave of towel snappings will get worse... before it gets better.
- You look familiar. I was your gardener for 12 years. You look different without my lawn under you. I dont take the lawn with me when I go. Well, I was right to trust you with it, then.
- A+? You dont think much of me, do you, boy? No, sir. You know, a D turns into a B so easily. You just got greedy.
- Forgiveness Please
- You use words like pasghetti and mamatoes. You make numerous threatening references to the U.N. And at the end you repeat the words Screw Flanders over and over again.
- Hold out your stockings kids!
- I love the sexy slither of a lady snake. Ohh, baby.
- Quagmire after seeing a porno about Lois
- Mommy, Daddy, Chris, Dog, Brian.
- Kevin and Pawrents Walkies Fun!
- Merry, merry Peanut in her Crocuses.
- Most people write letters to movie stars. This Simpson guy writes to movies. Dear Die Hard, you rock. Especially when that guy was on the roof. P.S. Do you know Mad Max?
- Dont you EVER compare me to F*(^#ng Anne Hathaway!
- Im presidential Peter, interns think Im hot. Dont care if youre handicapped, Ill still park in your spot, cant touch me.
- Well theyll...When they find him, um...mumble mumble
- Creative sentencing is common these days. Thats why Bill Clinton is our new mailman.
- ummm...Youre on your own!
- Fine! But the bacon man lives in a bacon house!
- No, Ultrasuede is a miracle. This is just good timing.
- Hello, Mr. Thompson
- Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn’t hear anyone laughing, did you?!?
- “Thank you, Dr. Hibbert” “Don’t thank me. Thank THE KNIFE!”
- me irl
- The Thing About Huckleberries Is: Once Youve Had Fresh, Youll Never Go Back To Canned.
- The trick is to say youre prejudiced against all races.
- Mulford Act
- Me when I saw egg nog at the grocery store today.
- Most people don’t know the difference between apple cider and apple juice, but I do. Here’s a little trick to help you remember. If it’s clear and yella, you’ve got juice there, fella. If it’s if it’s tangy and brown, you’re in cider town.
- Cant trust a pig with watermelons, yknow?
- Homer, youre as dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. If a strange man offers you a ride, I say take it!
- All opposed? Me. Who keeps saying that? It was him, lets get him fellas.
- Slow down sir, youre going to give yourself skin failure!
Beer and karaoke with Homer. Yes. Simpson’s premiere tonight with yours truly as Burn’s robotic working mans alter ego. - @dkharbour on Instagram
- Compadres, it is imperative that we crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season. And remember, a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya.
Weed Whacker - @bunicomic on Instagram
- Excellent Zutroy!
- OC Aussie lake time flashing. (F) 25 byron bay
- Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow but I must say, you steam a good ham.
- Blursed forward facing Burns and Smithers
- Rutabaga Rabitowitz has made a bonsai style plant on his desk from a carrot
- what a good view😍
- When Ive got a day off.
- Walk on a sunny day
- Although it seems pretty clear that my client committed murder, I would consider it a personal favor to me if you found him not guilty
- I’m a White male, age 18-49. Everyone listens to me! No matter HOW dumb my suggestions are.
- “Help me, Lisa! I have serious Mental Problems!
- Heres a blow-dryer and some rattles to play with, theres the Drano in case theres a clog, soaps next to the radio and towels are on the roof
- If a cow ever got the chance, he would eat you and everyone you care about!
- Blursed Peter
- Awww. This isnt gonna be about Jesus, is it?
- Were going out, Marge! If we dont come back, avenge our deaths!
- “Hey fellas, good news! I found an extra 75W bulb lying around”
- Family Guy
- I see your reading the newspaper. Everything but the opinion page. I dont need to be told what to think. By anyone living.
- Umm... I shoot birds at the airport.
- BERSERK IS RIGHT!
- Well, Seymour, it seems weve put together a baseball team, and Im wondering, whos on first?
- Don’t ever change, Todd
- You know the door was open, Chief Break Everything!
- No, Lisa, but I sure dont want to eat this crappy breakfast.
- When I say put your beer on a coaster, I mean it!
- “Sorry, the law requires a five day waiting period. We’ve got to run a background check.” “Five days? But I’m mad now.”
- “But I’m definitely going to make orphans of his children. You know, they do have a mother. Yes, but I would imagine that she would die of grief.”
- Stop the inauguration! I just discovered our President-Elect got an F in second grade gym class!
- Cheaply, Re-Humanized, Businessmen.
- Stealing, how could you?! Havent you learned anything from that guy who gives sermons at church, Captain whats his name?
- Well, you know what they say “Tough actin’ Tinactin.”
- His chin looks like balls, you want me to cover that too?
- I Can Shout You Name Louder!! JOE JOE JOE JOE JOE JOE 😃
- “They were the children’s idea. I tried to stop them.” “It’s always the children’s fault, isn’t it Seymour?” “Yes. Yes it is, sir.”
- A congenital heart defect has apparently felled Tatum moments before he could step into the ring.
- GREENhorn?!... WHOs a greenhorn?!.... WHATs a greenhorn?!
- Tax Day
- The eating of an orange is a lot like a good marriage.
- BRUNCH: Its not quite breakfast, its not quite lunch, but it comes with a slice of cantaloupe at the end. You dont get completely what you would at breakfast but you get a good meal!
- Oh, you wanna rock fight eh? Heh heh heh...
- omvg batre get minjecraft tacoo???
Tutti giù dalla pianta e rapidi a seguire il nostro amico @_magnabosco_ 😎🔥💪 #dogui #guidonicheli #maestrodivita - @sole.whisky on Instagram
- My fellow Americans, as a young boy I dreamed of being a baseball
- Handcuffed to a pole
- Forget about the badge! When do we get the freaking guns!?
- Trust me, Bart... its better to walk in on both your parents than on just one of em.
- Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beeb..
- My mustache tells people that there is a 90% chance that I am poorly educated, that I keep upscale porn magazines out in the open, and that I listen to the Little River Band with giant headphones.
- Relax, Homer. At Globex, we dont believe in walls. Matter of fact, I didnt even give you my coat.
- “Excuse me. Are you Drew Barrymore?”
- If kids are so innocent, why is everything bad named after them? Acting CHILDish, KIDnapping, CHILD abuse.... What about ADULTery? Not until youre older, son.
- If only this sugar was as sweet as you sir.
- When you hear there’s a corona virus outbreak in The Republic of Ireland but you live in Ireland
- So it was Peter who did it!
- Marge, can we switch? I dont trust these guys.
- Every time I see the picture of the old man with the timer.....
- “But surely you can’t put a price on your families lives?” “I wouldn’t have thought so either, but here we are.”
- Come see Bottomless Pete, natures cruelest mistake. Come for the freak, stay for the food!
- Rex LOVES walkies
- Oh yeah, me-medicinal! I... Without it, I could go ehhh... go even blinder! Right?
- See, Lisa? Instead of one big shot controlling all the media, now theres a thousand freaks xeroxing their worthless opinions.
- For some reason, in Cape Feare (S5E2), whenever Homer gets Sideshow Bob’s first letter there is a mouse listening in.
- Milhouse, baby! Lionel Hutz, your new agent, bodyguard, unauthorized biographer and drug dealer- uh, keeper-awayer.
- danged ol black hole man
- “Its already wiped out the dodo, the cuckoo and the ne-ne, and it has nasty plans for the booby, the titmouse, the woodcock and the titpecker.”
- Someone said Jon Rahm looks like a Bobs Burgers character
- Well, if its a crime to love ones country, then Im guilty. And if its a crime to steal a trillion dollars from our government and hand it over to communist Cuba, then Im guilty of that too. And if its a crime to bribe a jury, then so help me, Ill soon be guilty of that!
- Makin’ movies and Makin’ Music and Fightin’ ‘Round the World!
- Did you just call me a liar?
- “Yeah, well, Scooby Doo can doo doo but Jimmy Carter, is smarter”
- Ants huh? We had quite a severe ant problem at the vineyard this year. I had Art Garfunkel come by with his compressor, and we created a total vacuum outside the house, and we blew the ants out the front door. But Im sure you high-tech NASA people could care less about our resort-town ways.
- Dad, whats the blow hole for? Ill tell you what its not for son, and when I do, youll understand why I can never go back to Seaworld.
- American Dad
- What’s your name son?
- How about some love for shoulder guy?
- Daddy, I had the craziest dream! Ralphie, Youre still in it!
- Homer, you knuckle-beak, I told you a hundred times: You gotta sell your pumpkin futures before Halloween! Before!
- Excited for Spring to Finally Get Here!!
- We need a symbol. Something that says were gay and Republican.
- Well, you keep using words like pasghetti and momatoes. You make numerous threatening references to the U.N.And at the end you repeat the words Screw Flanders over and over again.
- Listen, boozebags, I got a good thing going here. If you mess it up, I will out the one of you that is gay.
- “Well, God said I could walk just once. I was saving it for Susies wedding day, but...”
- Blursed_calm
- “Ha Ha” “Hey, Nelson. Hes really hurt. I think he broke his leg.“ “I said: Ha Ha.”
- Kirk, crackers are a family food. Happy Families. Maybe single people eat crackers, we dont know. Frankly, we dont want to know. Its a market we could do without.
- 18% approval ratings. Ill give you 18% of my foot in your ass
- See, I got this friend named Joey Jo-jo Junior Shabadoo
- (In honor of the first day of Spring) —Look, fellas! The first snapdragon of the season!
- Lady, hes putting my kids through college!
- You got no attitude, you’re barely outrageous, and I don’t know what you’re in but it’s not my face!
- Duffman is thrusting in the direction on the problem!
- Thats right....all the tea.
- Me after reading the Black Pudding thread
- Blursed_family guy
- And Linda Carter wasn’t actually here?!
- But surely you cant put a price on your familys lives. I wouldnt have thought so either, but here we are.
- Duh Homer why are we down here? I told you Bernie to guard the bee!
- In the new SP episode Basic Cable Scott turns to Eric for dating advice and because of Eric’s relationship with Heidi Eric gives him the best advice.Also I hope Heidi is in this episode :)
- Oh you dont have to take your shoes off, our house sucks
- A picture you can actually hear. 😂
- Oh, this is the worst party ever! I dont know. Remember that New Years Eve at Lennys? He didnt even have a clock.
- 10 bucks! $2! $7! $4! $5.50! $10! Sold! Sucker... I wouldve gone to $15 easy. I am so stupid. *puts gloves on* Awesome.
- I bet you can hear this image.
Yep - @the.dumpsters on Instagram
- “I did it. Second in line and all I had to do was miss eight days of work.” “With the money you would have made working, you could’ve bought tickets from a scalper.”
- I dream of Jesus. What a brilliant way to introduce the character 😂. Working in a record store.
- Remember that New Years Eve party at Lennys?
- Just hook it to my veins!
- Oh, so now were judging each other based on things weve done!? Real fair. Class act.
- Lady, hes putting my kids through college.
- “A boats a boat, but the mystery box could be anything!”
- This is absolutely one of the most confusing, messed-up episodes. An actual non-Alabama Alabama story
- ♪ Get your velvety smooth Brazilian wax ♪
- Is this scene from a real episode and if so which one? I’d like to watch it.
- What do you do, follow my husband around? Lady, hes putting my kids through college!
- Mr. Seltzer? Setzer. No. I think its Seltzer.
