
- LOTV only out few days... And is already causing me problems.


- Stalkerish?


- I thought it was hilarious...


- My anniversary is today and Im away for work. Wife sent me this.


- For those who can’t read Japanese it says “Your next line is . . . “


- I think Im in, boys


- .......Government vehicles.


- I mean how dare she!??


- Got some gas the other day


- Recruiter for a Startup inappropriately calls a candidate “babes” and gets called out on LinkedIn


- Have some Faith.


- My pain is immesurable and my day is ruined.


- her snap was in her bio


- Month 6 of quarantine: I no longer care what people think of me


- This so sad now give upvote


- This is a good one I found


- Every damn day


- I told my cousin I was gay today


- Classmate slept over and borrowed my Powerbeats pro...


- Recently, I’ve been receiving an increasing number of these robo-scam texts, meant for my grandmother, who’s addressed by name in many of the texts, and they all use the same predatory behavior and scare tactics.


- He really isn’t okay


- What? It’s a good movie..


- self proclaimed nice girl


- It’s been a hard day


- Blursed Norwegian Sunbathing


- this kid in my school has been unsending and resending the same message for three days and harassed my friend bc he wanted a prom date who was “blonde or emo”


- She’s so hot I super liked her and we matched 🤭 Her bio said “I love potatoes”


- So I saw people doing this and I decided to take a leap of faith... This is an epic gamer win


- Got her lol


- F-18 Hornet & Super Hornet


- Bandit and Naughty, my black cats


- A man in Las Vegas “stole” a strangers truck to make TWO trips to save 30 lives at the Route 91 festival Sunday night. The truck owner was completely cool with it and just wanted to make sure he got his keys back.


- How my boss and I communicate


- Haters will say it’s faje


- Her profile said life sucks, go big or go home


- Dad messaged 💕 almost made me cry at work.


- u have been judged.


- Well that escalated quickly


- Tried the lightning McQueen line from the reddit and it got very awkward quickly


- Border &Frames


- ***Dont ghost in October***


- Shouldve said looks like aprils comin before winter :(


- My girlfriend, whom I live with, and who I also met from tinder a year ago. She still likes pickup lines.


- Filho(a?) de motoboy faz um desenho para protegê-lo no trânsito


- My mom almost got me


- Love you quotes for him


- i am curntly dinrring right ngnow


- Chemistry


- Had 10 friends in common thought maybe I knew him.


- Morning sweetheart


- This girl was looking for someone to fix her speaker, I offered to do it for free... Hilarity ensues


- Always Smile:)


- Sometimes the shot doesn’t land


- My uncle’s a pilot and bought a house 3 days before the South African lockdown that has been going on for 3.5 months, and is stuck in Algeria during summer peak... he’s been there for well over 150 days.


- Assistant claims to not speak many languages but he (?) really likes GOT


- Didn’t realise till now but my pfp is off centre and I can’t change it rn because I’m on mobile and I don’t have the pic on my phone


- Ooof think I may have to unmatch


- Not too much money


- How to destroy your chances


- First time posting here (18f)


- Hes the best


- My friend sent this to me last week and I responded a minute after then he didn’t respond.


- My year+ journey of overall self improvement led me to coming out (did so in July) and Ive never loved myself more. And that self love just continues to motivate me. Thanks to all the gaybros who helped me online when coming out, I stayed strong because of you.


- Be concise


- Prom Proposal..


- He said Damm girl your ass is fine as fuck like wHy


- heh


- Her bio said “I could never love you as much as I love Oreos”


- [Legit] That food is giving me flagellants that will wake the Dead.


- (F)or all the muscle fans.


- My dad came up to visit me today. He followed in his car while I rode my bike. Got this text later in the day.


- 5 hours into army and kill and he gives you this look


- [OC] Bro neeed bathroom


- Tinder profile


- Well then. Guess I’m single


- Extra


- Because face is definitely 5 letters and needs to be censored.


- Someone posted on our local yard-sale site 2 days ago requesting emergency help in fostering a dog for 2 weeks while a newly-homeless family waited to move into their new home. I, a complete stranger, offered to home this dog FOR FREE....and this is what I get.


- Me_irl


- For some reason my mom is very much against me having a job. (I’m 17F) My workplace requires that I have a 2 week notice for days off, and my mom constantly makes plans for me and usually tells me 1-2 days before I’m supposed to go to it.


- Stupid phone


- Introduced my friend to reddit. This is what she did.


- Awesome


- Pretty sure I’m on an FBI watch list now


- I’m a lucky guy.


- me_irl


- People looking for Carl


- I’m glad I was too short and fat to enlist


- Winter is the time for high bird nation


- Jared Gilmore


- This lady was fun


- Her profile said she was looking to marry rich


- Oof


- Then howd he respond?


- I honestly hate that


- I hope everyone [f]rom the beach saw me up here


- Wtf is this shit on r/tinder


- Harry Potter mems


- Plant shop owner threatens to photoshop cocks in mouth of customer’s grandchildren because of negative reviews.


- Roblox MasterRace

- This BS. My name’s not even Donna!

- I got zeros all around while topping off a loaned car.

- She’s used so many numbers to message me since. I just thought you guys would like this hilarious update

- Here we go again.

- Avengers

- I’m doing my part

- Tennessee football memes

- Part 1

- Hes not wrong.

- Converted my friend this last week and hes already spreading the good word

- Tinder lines

- When you’re trying to get dressed for the day but the weather decides to be 2 completely opposite seasons

- Theatre nerds

- Doing my part

- Catfish plays the most dangerous game... Catching other Catfish

- Matched with a girl who likes felix so I thought I’d slide in real smooth but I just sound like a prostitute who works for exposure

- What a gross assumption smh

- Not delivered(!)

- Sandwich factories

- Im very open about being into girls and yet....

- I hope hes doing just fine

- What the fuck

- My girlfriend and I

- I miss this beach 😩 [f]

- I had an Epiphany

- me🏝irl

- This gas refill

- This dude’s never heard of a keyboard smash and I’m positive he’s way older than me-

- The first text I got about my new commercial was from my dad who I have seen once in the past decade.

- Wont have time to relax when the baby comes

- Jesus we all need sleep

- Thank you Scotiabank

- My dad had the opposite problem with autocorrect as most people.

- But it was too late, she now knew the truth

- Brothers had a bad weekend. Car was stolen and his bank account emptied. Then to top it of a dislocated shoulder at rugby this morning.

- Family Reunion Ideas

- me irl

- Part of not being a very motivated seller is that eventually you start only getting hits from interesting people...

- Yeet

- me irl

- My friend has an interesting bobiyee

- Person in grey thinks that can catch someone’s cancer

- Instead of just letting me know I’m due for a visit, my dentist makes me an appointment that I have to call to cancel or pay a non-attendance fee, and books it in even if I don’t reply to confirm.

- Thanks

- My Friend and I had a Stroke

- I’m planning to do a Star Wars rpg game this was an “argument” I had with one of the players

- This guy trying to ask if I’m trans.

- Simultaneously the greatest and most problematic compliment Ive ever received

- Caught this little shark in Mosquito Lagoon! Would have preferred a redfish.

- End me

- Cheers Maw

- Dawn is savage

- Me irl

- I missed out apparently.

- Carrie

- A few of many unanswered texts from this guy

- She said she wanted to be a magician, I told her wizards were better

- Just wanted to make a cute pun ://

- The bloody wind broke the neighbors fence so i fixed it for him. All i ask in return is good karma.

- What could go wrong?

- My 78 year old mother couldn’t figure out why her app wasn’t tracking her bike rides correctly...

- Might as well share the rare occasion something like this actually happens to me

- Apparently watching TV at my boyfriend’s house is inexcusable

- Bothering my teen son as he takes his first bus ride as a high schooler today

- Backfired

But God... I was sitting at home watching Dirty Money on Netflix, Slumlord Millionaire episode about Jared Kushner, and I was thinking “how do the bad people continue to win, continue to be successful while continuously destroying undeserving people?” I try to keep my heart and intentions pure, I try to do the right thing, I work hard, I pray, and I pray for people that have done me wrong. I’m not an angel, but everyday I try to be and live more and more like God. I still have a lot of work to do. Ha! And then I get this text from a friend. This is not a friend that I speak to everyday, but clearly she loves me and I love her. After I received the Venmo I called her and told her what I was doing and thinking at the time I received her text, after thanking her of course. She said, “well, this is Gods way of letting you know that he sees you, he hears you and keep doing what you’re doing. DON’T STOP‼️” And then we talked about other life issues for an hour and a half. I share this because I want to encourage you to KEEP GOING! DON’T STOP! People are watching you, even when you think they are not. They see your hustle, your tenacity, your grind. Lastly, encourage someone this week. Let them know that you see them, you support them. A simple text with words of encouragement will give someone the fuel to keep going just when they were getting ready to give up. I am BLESSED! Thank you friend! Thank you God! - @just_chev on Instagram

- I almost forgot about people FROM the rp group....

- El SMS que le llegó ésta mañana al cel de mi esposa! 🤣😂

- Poor hunter mains

- My sons first real experience with fireworks..

- why i say never burn a bridge, everyone knows someone...

- Grandma still sending lots of love.

- Cursed love

- My bio says “I’m statistically taller than you”

- Met her on Tinder. A bunch of spams later while I’m at work and I open up to this

- Look at this meme

- For context, my bio is “I work at Home Depot so you know I can build a good relationship.”

- I dont fucking care how inundated they are over their $9.95/month promo... Im cancelling my brand new MoviePass account because their customer service SUCKS.

- This queen’s time is finally coming to fruition. Itty bitty steps, but I couldn’t be happily vibrating any harder. I’m looking forward to the day that I get to watch my man fuck and cream his cake like he deserves. Thanks for letting me share my delight. 👑

- Had it do it to ‘em

- Trying to set up a simple reminder.

- moi_dlvv

- These bots arent even trying anymore...

- The importance between then and than.

- Harry Potter!!

- Watch out for the scammers pretty sure this is not Monica!! They just did the same with Tony IG!!!

- Imagine my horror as a fan of this sub to find this sent from my 17 year old self buried in my texts from 5 years ago

- A solid fuck you from voodoo

- Oh hey there Mr. FBI

- Thought this belonged here

- I was discussing captain marvel and the MCU in general with a friend when autocorrect jumped in

- My mother and father show up outside my apt without notice and demand I go eat dinner with then even though I’ve been living independently for six years. The last time I saw them they made me cry in public so I’ve been putting off seeing them. They haven’t apologized.

- Bobby Firmino be like

- me_irl

- It was interesting to me at least

- Got this text from my friend today... I believe he has learned the importance of what we do here.

- 410 to 310 from April 1st, 2019 - April 14th, 2020. Journey continues...

- Goals

- I introduced my friend to mushrooms a few months ago where we had a fantastic trip. This almost made me cry

- 10pm. I wanted to go for a walk, went through some shit and had to clear my head.

- Sorry, Cant Do Math Without Internet

- 2meirl4meirl

- Impending WW3 isn’t all too terrible. Met a girl off tinder who I just wanted to have fun with, thought the intro to the booty pics was smooth transition.

- Bruh how did you miss that? She looked for it and everything!

- this dude thinks i’m some sort of player...

- Joey Balls

- Man I’m smooth

- Me explaining raffles to my gf

- Harvey Norman online chat, doesnt reply for almost 3 hours, but closes the chat if I dont reply after 14 minutes.

- My friend started texting me while high, I decided to mess with him a lil bit. Finally got him.

- French Stroke

- That’s not how Craigslist works.

- Our hotel has a polite virtual concierge.

- Boating pictures

- Thank you WHO, very helpful (see full image)

- I dont think me feeble mind is ready

- Shhhhh!....Maybe we can still fcku!

- Talking to a roblox scammer

- Blursed_SuperMarioGalaxy

- I had to go around a blocked off road...

- First attempt at a name pun. Howd I do?

- I think that’s her hair?

- Just do it

- My mother after working my ass off as a freshmen, and having an 89 in German A2, 88 in Geometry, 83 in Honors Earth Science, and a 92 in AP World (college level course). I have to deal with this every week...

- Have you done lesbo?

- bestie I couple fille

- My buddy had arm surgery

- Noooo. Its horrible.

- After trying to comfort my girlfriend about her chest size, we ended both saying this golden line

- Bears

- What do?

- Fuck you, Neiman Marcus

- The whole truth

- Randomly texted a number and the person on the other end decided to play along...

- Apparently we have different ideas of being Santa

- Butt, Fuck you!

- Guy Ive known since I was 13. Ugh

- Ive never been good at spelling.

- Destiny

- Have there been casualties?

- Just slightly annoyed at this

- Thank you Ring

- Texts from infants...

- Cardboard playhouse

- Please, Just stop!

- Stop Frickin Marketing Me.

- Sons response to his grandma

- Throwback when I introduced my friend to Bojack Horseman. This happened when season 4 premiered. I’m pretty sure she didn’t make it.

- Talking to a former coach. Tennis is depressing. I love it so much.

- Last year I checked my bank account and saw that my mom stole my money, almost $2,000.

- Hopefully they start using this system all over NZ

- me irl

- Power move

- My boyfriend felt read 😅

- What goofy/weird nicknames do you call your partner? I’ve taken to calling my boyfriend “Wise Guy” in a New York mobster accent 😅

- Title

- She started a conversation with me by just saying Lol

- Just Funny!

- GOJEK bringing my hopes up, then slapping me with reality that there’s no free lunch in this world...

- Companies that just don’t care.

- This is the only thing Ive been saying in my group chat to my friends today. Ive gotten 0 responses

- BOOBS. lol.

- Ocado, you gits. Amongst the ‘high number of missing items’ are the main ingredients for our Christmas dinner, along with dessert and the Christmas crackers. I shouldn’t have been so smug about doing all my shopping online this year. Gonna have to brave the hordes at Tesco tomorrow morning now 😩

- My cat went missing a couple days ago. I posted everywhere online with my number. Didnt take long before I got this text

- hmmm

- Uhhhhhh

- I was going kinda fast today down a hill.

- Woke up at 3:33 and it was 33 degrees outside.

- She doesnt get it

- Finally, my first century! Big Dam Bridge 100

- Remember Valentines doesn’t just have to be for SOs!

- When your bank personally hands you an L

- Part 2: Last year I checked my bank account and saw that my mom stole my money, almost $2,000

- The Correct Response

- let’s just wait and see what happens

- We missed you

- My friend does not have time for CBs

- Well now I want to change my number.

- Carpool karaoke

- He Wasnt Cheating...

- I saw someone else do this so I had to try it

- Remember the guy selling the $4000 authentic supreme yeezys? He blocked me after this...

- Pro Trumper gets the bait and switch

- aaa?

- Pic collector don’t trade with him

- How should I respond?

- My dad fell for one of the oldest mind tricks in the book 😂

- Fuuuuu.....

- Might as well slide in right on this chair

- The slight angle that Monday is written on my iPhone has been annoying me all day.

- Door dash delivered to the wrong door and then sent me proof that they gave it to the wrong door

- The amount of stepa i took today

- 33 degrees F at 3:33pm

- BREAKING NEWS: THANOS CAR IS NOT THANOS CAR

- Not the answer he was searching for.

- i think my mom forgot the english language

- How my friend thinks you should work on cars.

- Went to my weird uncle Bob’s 80th B-day party.

- Doing important research while house bound, seems the other half appooves.

- I love hitting my dealer up (:
